But before I truly depart from your life. I must have my closure, this letter will be my closure, the swan song to our 2 year story. Which I will forever treasure in my heart. For the first time since Erna, you made me feel loved, confident, and wanted. You gave me reason to study again. To be the best Darren I could be. Remember our first date in McDo? God, the first time I saw you my heart literally skipped a beat. You were so hauntingly beautiful despite being all sweaty and unkempt, which for me added to your charm. It always brings a smile to my face whenever I remember that first date of ours.
Do you remember the first time I held your hand? The first time we hugged? The day I knelt down and asked you to be my girlfriend? The day you met my parents? The day we first made love? All of those are memories I will forever treasure in my heart and I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. You bailed me out when I needed money, you brought me food when I was hungry and I have nothing to eat. You caressed my head when I can't sleep, you took care of me when I needed someone to take care of me. You have superseded everyone I ever cared about. Yet I had the audacity to cheat on you.. Yes. I'm a fucking demon. I cheated on someone who has done and at that time, was willing to do it all over again for me. I took you for granted. I thought you won't leave me.. Yet you did. And right now I'm lost. I don't know where to go. I don't know if I would ever be the same. Darren changed because he thought you would never leave his side. Now you're on the arms of another, the Darren before we met 2 years ago is back. The Darren who drinks, smokes and breaks the hearts of other girls just for fun is back. And this isn't your fault in any way, Anna. This is mine. I lost you because I became complacent, and I took your love for granted. Now I need to suffer for it, I need to feel the pain of seeing you with another guy. Because I fuck up every chance I get on happiness.
Don't you worry about me. I'll be alright.. Thank you for making me realize that family life isn't the thing for me. That I will forever be alone. I'll just continue doing what I do best and that's letting everybody that loves me down. :) Thanks for the memories. I will never ever forget that there was an Anna that loved, cared and trusted me with things she can't even trust her parents and best friend with. And even tho we ended up tragically, I chose to remember the good things about us. I hope there will come a time I will be able to call you my friend. :)
Thank you for everything, Anna. I will never ever forget you. I will always and forever love you, and goodbye. I'm setting you free. I'm letting you go. So I can move on with my life, too.
PS: If it's possible and if they are still intact, can you leave my things at my house? If its too much of a burden. It's alright. I understand.