I'm so messed up
The words you said to me, "I'm over you and in another relationship" keep ringing in my mind
Everytime I think about you, brings tears to my eyes.
I've cried on almost every shoulder I know
I've had random strangers asking me if I'm okay
But never once have I heard those words from the lips that matter to me the most, yours.
I miss you so bad.
I don't hear my favorite sound in the world, your voice, anymore.
I don't even talk on the phone coz it reminds me of you and
How we used to talk at least 3 hours a day, late into the night, ignoring my parents screaming at me
Sometimes, it's takes all I have to force myself away from the phone
But what hurt like nothing else, was when I did call you and all I heard was silence
You don't care about me anymore.
You ignore my face in the corridor everytime.
The day after you last called me, I saw your face full of concern.
Like you even care what the shit happens to me.
I turned away becoz I didn't want u to see me cry
And after that u simply turned away too everytime you saw me
I really need you
I'm roaming around the whole house, not knowing what to do
Cause what the hell am I supposed to do with all those hours I used to spend talking to you?
What am I supposed to think about, if not you?
I just keep wondering if I should let you go
Not that you already didn't, but wondering if I should stop loving you too
Coz something keeps pulling me back
Something keeps telling me I'll get you back
Something says i couldn't last a day more without your face, your voice
The most important things to me in the world
But then, I've already lasted 5 days, crying my ass off, and I called u only once.
And I didn't beg you to take me back
Cause I've got my pride too.
You've got her now. The girl I wish was never born
But who have I got?
I tried talking to my best friends. But their voice doesn't match yours.
Their replies are not as familiar to me as yours.
Cause when I started loving you, 5 months back, I pushed away everyone else and you were the only person I talked to.
I didnt care that they were all pissed at me,
And I'll love them forever becoz they were still always there for me, and still are, when you left me.
I wonder what happened to all those million promises you made
I miss asking you what your wearing, what your doing, getting mad at you becoz u didn't sleep enough
I miss the way you used to love making me jealous and then tell me how important I am to you and you would never love anyone like that
I miss annoying you
I miss making fun of you and laughing like I never laughed before
I miss looking up into your brown eyes and never fail to see them looking into mine with the most amused, caring, loving smile.
I miss turning back and always, always see you staring at me.
I miss the way you always watched my back, like literally, made sure I didn't fall when I was walking backward, made sure i didn't play with roses so I don't get pricked, made sure I never had something sharp in my hand becoz u thought I was careless enough to get hurt, which I was.
I miss the way you used to get pissed because i got hurt
I miss telling myself to be careful coz someone out there really cared
I miss telling myself to stop crying coz someone out there didn't want me to
I miss trying to watch your favorite shows and end up either changing the Channel in a few seconds or falling asleep
I miss waking up in the morning and wishing the unbelievable dream about you was true
I miss shrugging and smiling while telling stories about us to others
Cause now, when I do, I'm only crying
I love how you'd always support every single thing I did or wanted or said.
I love the unrealistic, impossible stories you used to tell me whenever something made me sad or mad.
I love the way you used to get annoyed when a guy used to talk to me.
I love the way I was your number one priority, how you used to hang up on your friends because I was calling.
It just gets really hard when I remember I can't tell you stuff anymore.
I don't get to tell you what Im wearing, what Im doing, why I'm laughing.
I don't get to talk dirty with you anymore.
I don't get to threaten you by saying I'll punch you so hard I'll break your jaw or by saying ill kick you hard over "there"
I miss getting teased by my friends about you
I miss blushing. I really do. I really miss that so bad
Never again would you leave your friends and come to me
Never again would I stare at you with narrowed eyes coz I saw you looking down there.
Never again would I get to talk dirty with you using our own code language for all the stupid words because there were people around me
Never again would you go into the washroom and secretly talk to me coz your dad would screw you, but I was really in the mood for talking to you
Never again would I have to remain silent and make you understand exactly what was wrong
Never again would your password be my name
Never again would I get to sit beside you
Never again will I feel your legs beside mine
Never again will I fall over you becoz I wanna see what's happening on the other side of you
Never again will I try to walk faster so at least my shadow can be taller than yours
Never again will I run my hand through your hair
Never again will I get to draw crap on your hand with eyeliner
Never again would you take care about how short my skirt was or about how many buttons of my shirt were open or how I was bending to tie my shoelace.
Never again could I get to delibrately call you when your in the middle of your shower and not let you go
Never again will I hear you laugh becoz of my stupidness
Never again will I see you searching the crowd for me
Never again would I see your face light up just because you saw me
Never again will I come into your dreams
Never again will I make you smile
Never again will I hear you say "I love you"
Cause you've got another girl now.
Natasha
The words you said to me, "I'm over you and in another relationship" keep ringing in my mind
Everytime I think about you, brings tears to my eyes.
I've cried on almost every shoulder I know
I've had random strangers asking me if I'm okay
But never once have I heard those words from the lips that matter to me the most, yours.
I miss you so bad.
I don't hear my favorite sound in the world, your voice, anymore.
I don't even talk on the phone coz it reminds me of you and
How we used to talk at least 3 hours a day, late into the night, ignoring my parents screaming at me
Sometimes, it's takes all I have to force myself away from the phone
But what hurt like nothing else, was when I did call you and all I heard was silence
You don't care about me anymore.
You ignore my face in the corridor everytime.
The day after you last called me, I saw your face full of concern.
Like you even care what the shit happens to me.
I turned away becoz I didn't want u to see me cry
And after that u simply turned away too everytime you saw me
I really need you
I'm roaming around the whole house, not knowing what to do
Cause what the hell am I supposed to do with all those hours I used to spend talking to you?
What am I supposed to think about, if not you?
I just keep wondering if I should let you go
Not that you already didn't, but wondering if I should stop loving you too
Coz something keeps pulling me back
Something keeps telling me I'll get you back
Something says i couldn't last a day more without your face, your voice
The most important things to me in the world
But then, I've already lasted 5 days, crying my ass off, and I called u only once.
And I didn't beg you to take me back
Cause I've got my pride too.
You've got her now. The girl I wish was never born
But who have I got?
I tried talking to my best friends. But their voice doesn't match yours.
Their replies are not as familiar to me as yours.
Cause when I started loving you, 5 months back, I pushed away everyone else and you were the only person I talked to.
I didnt care that they were all pissed at me,
And I'll love them forever becoz they were still always there for me, and still are, when you left me.
I wonder what happened to all those million promises you made
I miss asking you what your wearing, what your doing, getting mad at you becoz u didn't sleep enough
I miss the way you used to love making me jealous and then tell me how important I am to you and you would never love anyone like that
I miss annoying you
I miss making fun of you and laughing like I never laughed before
I miss looking up into your brown eyes and never fail to see them looking into mine with the most amused, caring, loving smile.
I miss turning back and always, always see you staring at me.
I miss the way you always watched my back, like literally, made sure I didn't fall when I was walking backward, made sure i didn't play with roses so I don't get pricked, made sure I never had something sharp in my hand becoz u thought I was careless enough to get hurt, which I was.
I miss the way you used to get pissed because i got hurt
I miss telling myself to be careful coz someone out there really cared
I miss telling myself to stop crying coz someone out there didn't want me to
I miss trying to watch your favorite shows and end up either changing the Channel in a few seconds or falling asleep
I miss waking up in the morning and wishing the unbelievable dream about you was true
I miss shrugging and smiling while telling stories about us to others
Cause now, when I do, I'm only crying
I love how you'd always support every single thing I did or wanted or said.
I love the unrealistic, impossible stories you used to tell me whenever something made me sad or mad.
I love the way you used to get annoyed when a guy used to talk to me.
I love the way I was your number one priority, how you used to hang up on your friends because I was calling.
It just gets really hard when I remember I can't tell you stuff anymore.
I don't get to tell you what Im wearing, what Im doing, why I'm laughing.
I don't get to talk dirty with you anymore.
I don't get to threaten you by saying I'll punch you so hard I'll break your jaw or by saying ill kick you hard over "there"
I miss getting teased by my friends about you
I miss blushing. I really do. I really miss that so bad
Never again would you leave your friends and come to me
Never again would I stare at you with narrowed eyes coz I saw you looking down there.
Never again would I get to talk dirty with you using our own code language for all the stupid words because there were people around me
Never again would you go into the washroom and secretly talk to me coz your dad would screw you, but I was really in the mood for talking to you
Never again would I have to remain silent and make you understand exactly what was wrong
Never again would your password be my name
Never again would I get to sit beside you
Never again will I feel your legs beside mine
Never again will I fall over you becoz I wanna see what's happening on the other side of you
Never again will I try to walk faster so at least my shadow can be taller than yours
Never again will I run my hand through your hair
Never again will I get to draw crap on your hand with eyeliner
Never again would you take care about how short my skirt was or about how many buttons of my shirt were open or how I was bending to tie my shoelace.
Never again could I get to delibrately call you when your in the middle of your shower and not let you go
Never again will I hear you laugh becoz of my stupidness
Never again will I see you searching the crowd for me
Never again would I see your face light up just because you saw me
Never again will I come into your dreams
Never again will I make you smile
Never again will I hear you say "I love you"
Cause you've got another girl now.
Natasha
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